Nobody wants to hear about someone else’s dream unless 1) they’re in it, 2) sex is involved or 3) both. In that respect, this dream has an audience of two, Metal Gear Solid creator Hideo Kojima and actor Mads Mikkelsen…and sorry, no sex to be found in this one. But on the off chance this surreal experience might appeal to you, here is the dream in its entirety (and if this ends up mirroring anything in Death Stranding, let this stand as a monument to my psychic prowess.)
As I walk down a bustling city sidewalk, I see Hideo Kojima and Mads Mikkelsen sitting on a bench together, Mads cradled in Hideo’s arms. I ask if I can take a picture and they politely decline. I understand and wish them good luck on their game, Death Stranding. As I’m leaving, they change their minds and call me back over to take the photo. It’s a particularly bright day, with the sun shining from behind me, so I can’t see the photo I’m taking on my phone, but I snap a few shots for safety. I shake both of their hands (they both awkwardly contort their left hands to shake despite holding nothing in their right hands) and I walk away, amazed at the interaction that just took place.
I immediately look at the photos when I make it to shade: They’re all terribly blurred. The two are barely in frame, much less recognizable.
Heartbroken, I decide go back and see if I can take another shot, but they’ve already started to leave. As I pursue, they walk into a nearby shop together. I should give up, but I decide to follow them into the shop.
When I make it inside, I realize I’m in a tattoo parlor. Both men are only wearing towels now, getting tattoos done, as are a handful of other toweled ladies and men in rows and rows of adjacent chairs (I have never gotten a tattoo, but I realize it is a generally clothed affair. Most tattoo parlors don’t have upwards of 20 stations either, so this is where a little suspension of disbelief is appreciated.) I bow deeply and explain what happened and they seem genuinely understanding and agree to another photo. Being in different chairs, it’s hard to capture them both in one shot, so I move around from the side of the rows of chairs to the front, and when I get there, Kojima has seemingly vanished. When I ask what happened to him, an Asian man in the back row of chairs who is very much not Hideo Kojima calls out that he is the famed developer. Unconvinced, I continue to wait until I see the real Kojima. Dramatic music of the Metal Gear variety starts to play. I move from side to side, only seeing Mads, a bunch of women and this imposter Hideo.
Suddenly, riot-shield-wielding techno soldiers (similar to Killzone’s Helghast) start patrolling the rows of tattoo chairs. I duck in and out of the cover of the front row of chairs, still popping my head up, determined to get this photo. I try to move back around to the side where I originally came in to get my bearings on where Kojima was sitting, but I run right into one of the shielded soldiers who uses a powerful punch to send me flying into a wall in the back of the parlor.
I groggily come to, wall cracked behind me, the lights of the shop flickering while frayed electrical cables spew sparks all around. As the riot soldier approaches, my vision blurs completely and three options are written in front of me like a game over screen in a video game.
2) Give up
3) Photo with Hideo Kojima and Mads Mikkelsen in front of a Toyota Prius
The scene unblurs and the options disappear. Battered and confused I call out with all my remaining strength “All I wanted was to take a photo of Hideo and Madds in front of a Toyota Prius!”
The soldier stops, frozen in place. Suddenly Mads rushes up on my right side and grabs my hand with both of his. “Did you say, Toyota Prius?” he asks. Before I answer, Kojima rushes up on the left side and grabs my other hand. “Toyota Prius desu ka?” he asks (this is 100% not the right way to say this line in Japanese, by the way.)
I nod. They both look at me, then each other, then back to me. They smile and pull me up together. “Let’s take that photo,” Mads says.
And then…I wake up.